The Perfect Conversation
by Orokid
Summary: Clark reflects on what he should've done, and what he now regrets after losing what he had in the five years he was gone.


**Orokid**_: I was having trouble writing this fanfic in the middle of the story, and you can probably guess where, but I post without a beta or anything- and that's cause most of my stories, which are good, end up don't needing one. Lol._

_Hope you enjoy it, despite the fact that I messed up a little bit…_

**Disclaimer**_: I do not own anything to do with Superman, and I never will have anything to do with it. Sorry, but I wish I did. If that was possible at all, I would have had Jason a lot more innocent at noticing things and Lois remembering a lot more than nothing. Lol._

The Perfect Conversation 

Clark studied the picture of Lois and her son, which had replaced the picture frame of the other man in her life. It had seemed quite amusing to him at first, but it slowly reached into his mind just what had occurred over the past week- the reappearance of Superman and the newly found knowledge that her boy's father wasn't her fiancé had most likely shaken the family into an unbalanced nature. Because he had come back, the life of the woman he loved had become topsy-turvy, flipping things all around until it all seemed out of place.

Yet something else she could yell at his alter ego for later on, when he went to visit them- although, personally, he wasn't sure if he should.

He closed his eyes slowly, setting the frame down so no one could see him even look at it. It would be quite something if Clark Kent, the bumbling reporter who had once had a crush on her, was looking at a photo that would only mean something to the boy. Now was not the time for her to reaffirm his alter ego, like she had at Niagara Falls about five years ago, and he just didn't feel like returning to the memory that only broke his heart as he thought of it.

If only he had told her what he had been planning, back when the newspapers had published the faux story of Krypton being intact and that there had been signs of life. If only he hadn't kissed her like he had, erasing a night filled with bliss that wouldn't ever be repeated again. At least then, he knew that she would've waited, would've held onto her love for him instead of assume that the child that they had created together was someone else's.

At least then, he would've stayed on Earth and never have to look through the carnage that was Krypton. Saying good-bye to her, like he had stated to her on their rooftop interview, would've stopped any and all thoughts of leaving.

_In the perfect conversation_

_We're standing at the station_

_And you're begging me_

_Please don't go_

_You'd say the only thing that matters in this world_

Is that we need each other so 

If Clark could've stopped himself, he knew that he would've returned to her side and given her what he couldn't have before. He would've given her what he had taken away from her, would've held on and never let go and protected her against the villains that dared to try and kill her. He wouldn't let anyone harm her, and they would've raised their son- Jason- together instead of having the boy's father come back to find that he **was **a father.

If he had been any real super man, he wouldn't have had to let go of one of the few things that made him happy. In that way, you could say that he had been a fraud, shooing away any possibility for happiness when he took the memory of a night like what they had.

Clark opened his eyes, looking at her while she sat at her desk, having sat down only mere moments before. If she had caught him looking at the picture, what would have happened? Would she have gotten suspicious all over again and made him admit to the truth? Would her mind have subconsciously broken through the barrier he had placed and upon her and show her everything that had been hidden?

He didn't know, but he wished that he did. At least then, he could've done something to show her that he was still in love with her, and not just pulling back because he had thought that she had moved on with her life.

_In the perfect conversation_

_Without any hesitation_

_I'd tell you I was wrong_

_I'd say girl you know sometimes my faith is weak_

And my pride is much too strong 

He continued to watch her, although using his laptop as a way to hide his sight- he just looked through it to watch her. It was easy, considering just who he was, but he hated having to hide his affections for her like he did. If he didn't, though, he knew that she would possibly get suspicious- or worse, someone else will- and maybe her memories would reinsert themselves into her psyche.

That, everyday, worried him out of everything.

But, if he had stopped himself from blasting off in his spaceship, would he have let her believe that nothing happened or would he have really told her himself? He didn't know, but, once again, he wished that he did.

_In this perfect conversation_

_In my imagination_

_Somehow I know just when to say what's right_

_And I know just what I'm losing_

_Before this train I'm on starts moving_

_And I'm running through the door to hold you tight_

_Oh the perfect conversation always ends_

Before we say goodbye 

Now, five years after his disappearance, he could feel the need to talk to her, to tell her the truth about his entire life, which was most definitely a lie to her by now if she **did** hear everything. Although that need, like everything, would be dismissed until he'd have the strength to really talk to her like that.

He wanted to have her remember, no matter how much he didn't want her to. As much of an oxymoronic statement that was, it was true- he wanted it, but didn't either.

One could say that the Man of Steel really was a confusing person.

As he watched her through the electronics of his laptop, he felt his heart burn as a strand of hair fell down her face. He wanted to move other there and push it away, but she had moved faster than he could ever- the strand was pushed behind her ear absentmindedly, as though her mind was on something the world could not distinguish. But he knew what her mind was on, unlike everyone around them.

She was obviously thinking of him. Well, not exactly him- more like his other self, who flew above the clouds and showed her a world that few witnessed.

Now, out of all the words he wanted to tell her- other than "beautiful", "love", and the words that throbbed through his every being when he was around her- was to say what he hadn't been able to before. "Good-bye", and "I love you", and "wait for me" seemed to be high on his lists of words he wanted to say to her, although he knew he'd be damned before he said those words-

At least, damned until he could find the right time to tell her.

_Darling, I can hear now_

_So loud and so clear now_

_All the words I just could not seem to find_

_Better things I didn't say keeps coming back_

_A mile at a time_

Lois got up from her seat and smiled at the man that had once been her partner in crime, who had helped her get stories that would sometimes be out of reach for just about anyone normal. She wrapped her jacket around her shoulders, and then moved over to his desk. Clark's heart couldn't help but pound, that hope that she'd remember returning to him all over again, and he wished that she'd show him a sign of knowing such a thing.

"I'm going to go pick up Jason from school. Will you pass the message to Perry for me? Thanks."

She hadn't even given him a chance to tell her 'okay'.

And, with that, she moved out to the elevator, not even giving him one last look to show that she knew the mysteries that were Clark Kent. Maybe it was better this way, with her never remembering, and with him living a life without her. Maybe… just maybe… He watched as she turned, waving at him as the doors closed on the empty shaft, and he only watched her through the metal doors as the elevator slowly descended down to the first floor.

In this perfect conversation 

_In my imagination_

_Somehow I know just when to say what's right_

_And I'd know I'll never leave you_

_Cause I'd know how much I need you_

_And I'd tell you that I love you just in time_

_Oh the perfect conversation always ends_

Before we say goodbye 

Sighing, Clark returned to the article, but only one word flashed at the top of the Word file he had opened.

"Good-bye."

Oh the perfect conversation always ends 

_Before we say goodbye_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

**Orokid: **_Yeah, I only read the book to the movie so far- hope I can see it before it leaves theaters! Lol. I know the ending was a little rushed, but I remember in the book that he kept reminding himself that "whoops, maybe I should've told her". I actually thought that was kinda funny, whether the novel had forgotten points in the movie or not. Truth was, the book had things in there that hadn't been in the movie, although I KNOW that they had been edited out. So… yeah…_

_Heh heh… Yeah… So please review! I'd understand the flames, but PLEASE REVIEW MY STORY!_


End file.
